|
|
Post by Big Mother Trucker on Apr 3, 2014 13:28:21 GMT -5
Feeling weird get your David Lynch on
Writing code like I'm Thomas Pynchon
You're feeling frisky and you got your ass out
I'm readying my markers for when you pass out
Got no vocation so I have to super trick
All these nerdy fat dudes on my dick
Not going super-jail but I'm into lollies
Walk into a high school and pass out mollies
Everything's relative but I missed your mom's train
I guess I'll have to catch the next Malaysian Plane
Yes I'm edgy and I do my own stunts
I'm from the town of O'Keefe where they're all cunts
Hands in my pants I'll cum like a Haley's Comet
My breath always smells like Mountain Dew and vomit
I get more drunk than my swollen member
I might have been raped but I don't remember
Never getting laid I'm a nerd PSA
All my porn got confiscated by the NSA
Like Hellen Keller you never know what I'll say
All my friends' moms still think I'm gay
I'm not Anonymous but I shitpost on 4chan
My ass has been blasted more than Afghanistan
If I was rich they'd just think I'm lazy
But I'm poor so they all think I'm crazy
Blaze up a cosmos like I'm Carl Sagan
Then watch it trickle down like I'm Ronald Reagan
BAM BITCH fuck my life
|
|
|
|
Post by Big Mother Trucker on Apr 24, 2014 12:43:20 GMT -5
fuck yo dick is smelly
cock swelly like molten jelly
suck it up while i watch the telly
listenin to Tupac Machiavelli
getting bored so i masturbate
my dick my hand will soon eviscerate
5 times a day til I graduate
Until the day I become jacking off Magistrate
Head full of natural gas
stick a rocket up your ass
when it comes to jerking off I'm the top of my class
Whereas you're a ten second wizard and you barely pass
Women ain't got no qualms bout my hairy palms
If I actually talked to them they'd all be your moms
too bad Im awkward as fuck like a bi-polar duck
quack quack my speech flying all directions like a hockey puck
stick a fork in me I'm done
stick a fork in your mom and make her cum
|
|
|
|
Post by Big Mother Trucker on Apr 24, 2014 12:55:47 GMT -5
my psychiatrist says I need to reduce the stress in my life
so I'mma fuck some bitches up and make them my wives
maybe in a couple of years after I've had too many beers
I'll be able to look at my peers and smell my own tears
Finally get all this shit done in two jiffies
move to California and blaze two dozen spliffies
but it's a circular argument my life's a flat circle
No money in my wallet and less game than steve erkle
be back to more of the same when I get done with this game
and it might sound lame but that's the way it is I'll tell you plain
|
|
|
|
Post by Big Mother Trucker on Jul 18, 2014 16:31:12 GMT -5
Yo
Bitches
So many snitches getting stitches in these new valley ditches
I got so many bitches that I cum in my pants just changing my britches
I cum in your mom's blonde aryan face her pussy tastes like master race
I spit it out and fuck up her shit because fucking nazis make me want to gene split
And fucking Jews make me want to roll up some doobies
Gather up some forties pure bourbon and head to the Them talking pictures right?
Cause pussy is hard to come by and my left hand is so tight
Your girl's on my level especially if she's a pre-teen
I'll pound more holes into that ass than MH17
This ain't the sixties or the nines but if it was I'd be a draft dodger
Cause this mother fucker right here is more gentlemanly than Elliot Rodger
Hey
Fuck Tom Cruise I'm Xenu stepping out the landing pod
Ghost of Wesley Willis on my side cause I'm the next Based God
I'm so based my dick has it's own digits
My dick and pussy like Time Bandits and midgets
Got Alanis Morrisette on my right and JK Rowling on my left
Edward Snowden tried to sue me for copyright theft
It's just too bad that your sister is such a dirty whore
She gave me more bad bush than I've had since 2004
Yet she's good enough for a midnight snack
And you'll niggers don't even smoke crack
But my trigger finger's getting itchy and it's been enough time for talk
This rhyme shit is tricky and hard just like my nice swollen cock
BEYAAAAAAAAAAAATCH.
|
|
|
|
Post by Big Mother Trucker on Jul 19, 2014 2:58:23 GMT -5
Ugh
Ugh
Ugh Ugh Ugh five second disaster
Doing little kids and I'm not even a pastor
Call me Parks and Rec cause I'm fucking Aubrey Plaza
Give her more jewish denial than the bombing of the Gaza
Equality for all I'm a Social Justice Warrior
Play more dating sims than a New Grounds courier
I'm a proud feminist who believes in equal rights for the rest
Cause bitches who fight back are the bitches I like the best
Ugh
Ugh
Ugh Ugh Ugh think I pulled something that time
More social interactions than a one legged mime
More social awkardness than your buddy who did time
Cause talking while masturbating is like some sort of crime
Look, I'm trying to pull my life back together
I took all my old porns and threw them in the shredder
Cause with backups and harddrives who even needs that shit
Anyone who keeps those things still laying around is a twit
I've got a Solid Snake but I ain't no Big Boss
Though my detractors all want to nail me to a cross
I'm acutely aware that I'm going to some sort of hell
But you look me in my face and tell me I'm not doing swell
Ugh
Ugh
Ugh Ugh Ugh That's it mother fucker that's all you got?
Looks like it's all ogre now and Shrek's out to rot
But I'll do anything to secure my imaginary spot
Beam a dildo up your ass! Oh my! Great scott!
I'm a co intel pro conspiracist who's covered up multiple disasters
So you can go and tell that to your Illuminati reptilian masters
Oops! Did I just say that? Let me go on Fox News
And rant about how the media's run by the jews
So all my scare tactics look all the more passable
When everyone and their mom thinks I'm a racist asshole
Got a fake vagina that I use that's made out of velcrum
I'd tell you more but I've more than worn out my welcome
That's the end of whatever this thing is so see you next Purge
Until then go into a Block Buster and purchase some surge
UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M CUMMING
ah shit my fucking t-shirt!
|
|
