Space Cruise Season Two

TALES OF SPACE CRUISE II PREVIEW
SUPER OPRAH: ORIGINS
Concept, Story and Script by Nick Strahler
Super Oprah created by Jerry Arnold

THE COUNT'S BEDROOM - ELMO'S WORLD
Super Oprah is sprawled out on the count's massive queen-sized bed while the little puppet fondles her massive chest.

THE COUNT: 1, 2, 3, 4! That's the number of times you're going to climax today! AHAHAHAHAHA!

SUPER OPRAH: You're too good to me, count.

THE ROOF OF THE BUILDING IS BLOWN APART. A MYSTERIOUS BEING FLOATS INTO THE ROOM -- SUPER SCOTT WALKER.

SUPER SCOTT WALKER: Your time is up. My time is now.

SUPER OPRAH: Super Scott Walker? What are you doing here you guttural piece of trash?

SUPER SCOTT WALKER: For too long your league of Supers has monitored the universe and stopped the other supers from doing what must be done. Your unholy union must be shut down for the good of all.

SUPER OPRAH: You can't shut down our union you piece of shit. Prepare to die.

Super Oprah lunges at Super Scott Walker but he deflects her hit and sends her flying to the streets with a super kick of republican justice.

SESAME STREETS - ELMO'S WORLD
Super Oprah is flung onto the Sesame Streets causing a GIGANTIC EXPLOSION that decimates the city block and destroys several buildings. Standing in the wreckage with his perfectly couiffed hair is Michael Bay.

MICHAEL BAY: If you want to defeat Scott Walker, I can help you. But it will come with a price.

SUPER OPRAH: Who the hell are you?

MICHAEL BAY: I'm Michael Bay. Everything I do is awesome.

Two dirty, terrible smelling goddamn hippies approach Super Oprah and Michael Bay.

DIRTY TERRIBLE SMELLING GODDAMN HIPPIE [HASH]1: You must defeat Scott Walker, Super Oprah.

DIRTY TERRIBLE SMELLING GODDAMN HIPPIE [HASH]2: Yes we hate him.

SUPER OPRAH: Why?

DIRTY TERRIBLE SMELLING GODDAMN HIPPIE [HASH]1: He won't let us jerk off in public.

SUPER OPRAH: Who are you?

DIRTY TERRIBLE SMELLING GODDAMN HIPPIE [HASH]1: We're a Federation, united. A Federation for people that love to jerk off in public.

SUPER OPRAH: I wish I could help you, but I mean, I'm just here having an affair--

MICHAEL BAY: In order to stop Scott Walker, you must go to his home planet--Planet Wisconsin.

SUPER OPRAH: Why are you helping me?

MICHAEL BAY: Because I want to help them, and help lead their Federation.

SUPER OPRAH: Why?

MICHAEL BAY: The adult entertainment industry pays more than the film industry in the future.

SUPER OPRAH: Makes sense. Once I get to Wisconsin, how do I stop Scott Walker?

MICHAEL BAY: Once you arrive, you'll be able to recall. How to stop him.

SUPER OPRAH: That's...incredibly stupid.

MICHAEL BAY: Yes, stupid...and awesome.

PLANET WISCONSIN CAPITOL BUILDING
The imperial march plays as Scott Walker looks out his window. His two advisors, David H. Koch and Charles G. Koch, enter the room.

DAVID H. KOCH: Good evening your holiness.

SUPER SCOTT WALKER: You know how much I love Koch.

CHARLES G. KOCH: Yes you tell us that every night. However we are becoming increasingly concerned...

DAVID H. KOCH: With your crusade against the other supers. They are too powerful. You're dealing with forces you cannot possibly comprehend.

SUPER SCOTT WALKER: Blow it out your ass. Who's going to stop me?

THE ROOF OF THE BUILDING BLOWS OFF AND HERE ARRIVES 'SUPER OPRAH'.

SUPER OPRAH: You called?

SUPER SCOTT WALKER: Ahahaha Oprah you stupid fat bitch, you might be able to defeat me but you have to get through my henchmen first. Introducing Wisconsin's favorite musician Bon Iver.

Bon Iver attacks Super Oprah with his accoustic guitar. Super Oprah kicks him in the dick and then smashes him in the head with his own guitar.

SUPER OPRAH: You'll have to do better than that.

DONALD DRIVER: Bam bam thank you maam I'm gonna get me some of that can.

Donald Driver attacks Super Oprah with a running nose dive but Super Oprah flies over him and uses her heat vision on his dick. He runs out of the room screaming as he bleeds from his anus.

SUPER SCOTT WALKER: You think you own me. But I have an ace in the hole.

A wild Aaron Rodgers appears.

AARON RODGERS: Discount Double Check!

Aaron Rodgers uses Discount Double Check. It's not very effective.

AARON RODGERS: Damn it that usually works.

SUPER OPRAH: Better luck next year.

Super Oprah hits Aaron Rodgers with a super fart, knocking him out of the building into next Tuesday.

SUPER SCOTT WALKER: Very good Oprah. I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this. But it looks like I have to bring him out of retirement.

There is a loud BANGING and a sudden THUD. The door SMASHES open. Standing there in a pair of perfectly fitted levis is none other than SUPER BRETT FARVE.

SUPER BRETT FARVE: I'm back. Again.

Super Brett Farve lunges at Super Oprah but its intercepted.

SUPER BRETT FARVE: Fucking A. Every time.

SUPER OPRAH: Say goodnight baby.

SUPER BRETT FARVE: Goodnight baby?

Super Oprah kicks Super Brett Farve off the planet, a super kick that sends him screeching into outer space.

SUPER SCOTT WALKER: Looks like its just you and me now. Mono E Mono. One on one.

SUPER OPRAH: It appears to be that way.

SUPER SCOTT WALKER: Just you and me. Head to head. Face to Face. Eye to Eye. Ear to Ear. Ass to Ass. A mexican standoff.

SUPER OPRAH: Uh...maybe?

Super Scott Walker does a force jump to the top of the capital. Super Oprah follows him. He pulls out his red lightsabre, and Oprah pulls out her purple dildosabre.

SUPER SCOTT WALKER: I have the high ground.

SUPER OPRAH; I have batteries.

Super Oprah swings the dildosabre as it vibrates in her hands.

SUPER SCOTT WALKER: Impressive. Most Impressive.

Super Oprah shoves the dildo sabre into Super Scott Walker's mouth, fatally wounding him.

SUPER OPRAH: That's for shutting down the Onion.

SUPER SCOTT WALKER: Before I die...there's something you must know.

SUPER OPRAH: I know, you love Koch.

SUPER SCOTT WALKER: No not them. There's someone else. Someone else I'm working for...

SUPER OPRAH: Who?

Super Scott Walker begins to laugh as Blood seeps down his mouth.

SUPER SCOTT WALKER: He's...another Super. And he'll stop at nothing to destroy all of you. You and your club of Supers.

SUPER OPRAH: Who is he?

SUPER SCOTT WALKER: It doesn't matter...I'm...I'm dying now. See you in hell you dirty commies.

Super Scott Walker explodes in a ball of flame.

SESAME STREET - ELMO'S WORLD
Super Oprah arrives back on Sesame Street, where Michael Bay and the Federation are waiting for her.

SUPER OPRAH: I'm back.

MICHAEL BAY: Super Scott Walker? Is he dead?

SUPER OPRAH: Yes he's dead. You can lead your Federation now. But know that if you ever step out of line, I'll be watching.

MICHAEL BAY: The Federation will always be loyal to you. We'll spread peace and adult entertainment all throughout the galaxy. But mostly adult entertainment.

SUPER OPRAH: Good. Now I have to return to the Supers. There was something that Scott Walker said before he died. Something...that disturbed me.

PLANET PUNJABI
Super Brett Farve arrives on Planet Punjabi. Waiting for him there is SUPER HULK HOGAN.

SUPER BRETT FARVE: Sir, Scott Walker is dead.

SUPER HULK HOGAN: You failed me, brother.

Super Hulk Hogan snaps Super Brett Farve's neck.

SUPER HULK HOGAN: It's almost time to unleash my New World Order.

THE END.

BUT SUPER OPRAH WILL BE BACK IN "THE DARK SUPER"